Back At It

It's definitely time to get back at it.  I'm not sure why I constantly procrastinate about writing, but I've always been that way. It's the same feeling that I get when I know I've spent too much money during the month; I know that I need to log into my bank account to check my balance, I just don't want to.  It's not as if money will magically appear and replace the cushion that I just pissed away, but it always seems like something that will be easier tomorrow.  And so it is with writing.  Nothing looks worse than a big gap in a journal, but the idea of "fixing it tomorrow" only widens the gap.

So here I am to close the gap. I've noticed that it's either times of joy or times of frustration that tend to motivate me the most to write, and today it's probably a little of both.  I'm frustrated by the fact that too often in our lives our efforts and driving force are misunderstood. Not because our motives are unclear or because we're attempting to hide something, but because it's so much easier for people to take a snapshot of what you're doing and apply their own interpretation of your reasons and motives for doing it.  Rather than question, they condemn. Rather than ask, they accuse. Granted, I've been in both sets of shoes and will likely fill both sets again in the future, but wouldn't our interpersonal relationships be so much better if we simply started at Square One?

The fact that this bothers me so much is a pretty good indicator of my own personal guilt in the matter.  This serves as a nice little wake-up call (New Year's Resolution, perhaps?) that it's time to make some positive changes in the way I work in the world.  Seeing something "wrong" and approaching the person suspected of wrongdoing is often the hardest step to take.  The easier route, and more frequently traveled, is to take that view back to the safety of your clique and allow them to reaffirm that your thoughts are (of course) correct.  More often than not, however, information comes to light which crumbles your initial opinion and, if you're like me, makes you feel like an idiot in the end.  Instead of spreading untruths and causing people undue stress maybe we could all just start at the first rung of the ladder and climb from there. Chances are, the explanation that you receive at that first rung will be enough to make you let go of the ladder and walk away.

But enough bitching and moaning about people whose actions I can't control! Christmastime is here, and I couldn't be happier about it!  The last few years have been a little anticlimactic for me at Christmas, but this year has been so much more rewarding already.  There is true joy and excitement from my kids this year for the big day.  My grandparents will be here in two days, and I'm so glad that they'll get to spend lots of time with the girls. My only downer for the season is that I'm working both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, which is something I haven't done since the long ago bachelor days. 

So once again, I hope the entries keep coming.  It's hard to believe that only 12 days remain in 2011 because it seems like it just started.  Didn't we JUST drive to Phoenix?  In 10 days we'll be flying to Southern California for our third Oregon bowl game in as many years.  How fortunate I am to be able to make these trips with my wife! I am especially thankful around this time of year for all that I have. A loving wife, healthy, thriving children, a fantastic career, and a supportive family.  Life is rarely boring, and all too often flying by in a blur.